"When God Closes One Door He opens Another"

I'm sorry that we have not posted in awhile, but not much has been going on until this week. After I recovered from my last surgery I went back to see my fertility doctor. She told me that my ovaries were not functioning and that I had another cyst. She said that our only option left for me to get pregnant was egg donation.

After that day I felt like my doctor had done everything that she possibly could for me. I decided to get a third opinion from the infertility department at UAB. I was very surprised when I called to make an appointment and they said we can get you in tomorrow. I thought to myself "It's got to be meant to be." I was so glad that Bradley was able to go with me. As we sat in the exam room waiting on the doctor to come in I kept telling Bradley that I was so nervous. Now, If you know me then you know that I competed in Miss Alabama for several years. I competed during the time that Deidre Downs won Miss America. Let's just say that she was my role model and I looked up to her for years and still do. I knew that Deidre had just graduated from medical school and that she was doing her residency in OBGYN.

All of the sudden the door opened and Deidre walked in. I was speechless. She told me that she was doing a rotation with Dr. McLaren. After everything that I have been through I couldn't have been happier to see a familiar face. I immediately relaxed because I knew I was in good hands. So at this point I knew that God had sent me to UAB for a reason. I later got to meet Dr. McLaren and she was wonderful. She did some lab work and wanted to see me back in a week.

I went back to see Dr. McLaren on Monday and again the news was not was I was hoping for. Again, I was so nervous about hearing the results. She told me that based on test that she did my ovaries are not functioning and from the looks of my pelvic area she doesn't think that I will be able to carry a baby to term. As I sat there and cried I knew what was next. It broke my heart, but I looked at her and said "it's time to move on...I'm ready for a hysterectomy." She said that she honestly thought that it was the best way to stopping my pain.

She said that this surgery is going to be major and that she wants to do it within the next month.  I'm nervous and scared, but I know I'm in good hands. I'm going to have an endocrinologist, OBGYN and an oncologist performing my surgery. I have been to three doctors now and they have all said the same thing. I have been devastated since Monday, but in a way I'm relieved because I want have to worry anymore.

We are going to start the adoption process after my surgery. Right now, I'm extremely sad because I don't understand, but I know that years down the road I am going to thank God for the precious child that he is going to give us.

Please keep us in your prayers as this is just as hard on Bradley as it is on me.

God has closed this door and I know that he is about to open another.

Mary Kathryn

10/25/11--2-Week Post-Op Follow-up Appointment

Monday, 10/24/11, MK had her 2-week post-op appointment. Her plans were to go in and get a timeline/game plan on what our next chapter would be. Oh, yeah, she also needed to get a medical release to return to a full work schedule.  

She recounts her first "real" question for her doctor to be "was is as bad as you thought?" referring to the surgery. His response, "it was horrible." MK said she kind of laughed thinking he was being slightly sarcastic. "No, really, it was horrible" again states her doctor. We had known it was bad from her very first surgery but none of the previous doctors had quite taken this descriptive approach.
 
He then goes on to tell her that he had a recent medical conference in Las Vegas (of course I Googled and think he was referring to the "International Pelvic Pain Society's Annual Fall Meeting" last weekend). He said different doctors submitted cases and pictures of surgeries, etc., to be used in the meetings and presentations. He said he was watching a presentation when pictures came up on the screen that seemed familiar. He kept looking at them and approached the presenter afterwards. His thoughts were correct...the slides were from MK's surgery! Best part is that the discussion was basically looking at "worst case scenario" of Endometriosis. As I stated in my closing sentence from the last paragraph, we have known her case was severe but, oh my, MK has been diagnosed with one of the worst cases of Endometriosis in America. Now MK being a pageant girl, she is all about titles, but not this one!!

 Let's look to our future. MK's doctor has said that we need to quickly go back to our fertility specialist and devise our new game plan. So that said, MK has made an appointment next week to discuss with our fertility doctor our options. We have a preliminary belief that we will be limited to IVF and egg donor. The IVF won't have great odds and we are still developing our opinions on whether we believe egg donor would be a proper fit for us.  Of course, we will discuss and consider all options available to us.

I was unable to attend this follow-up visit. I really didn't think that much about it. When MK called me after she left the doctor's office and was telling me about everything, I was shocked. She was being very strong and collected on the phone, but I can only imagine how this news was affecting her. I even had to step out the back door at work to have the conversation.  Now, MK is the strongest woman I know. Not many people, men included, could go through the daily pain and discomfort she is faced with.  I can't imagine my life without her and I am blessed to be by her side through all of this.  As I have said before, this is my disease just as much as it is hers.  She is not alone in this.  I would give anything to help alleviate her pain but I have to stay focused that this is working through God's plan. All I can really do is stay positive, support her, and maybe do the dishes, vacuum, wash clothes, etc., to help her out! We will get through all this through our Faith and support from our wonderful friends and family. As MK has quoted from one her favorite books recently, I firmly believe everything will be worth it when we can look at our "little one" and say "If our journey had been easy, we wouldn't have you".

Thanks for listening,

 --Bradley

10/10/11--Surgery is Over

MK came out of surgery doing pretty well. It was around a 3hr surgery. Herdoctor is very optimistic that the work he performed will help her with her daily pain. We had entered this day thinking he might remove her left ovary and left tube, instead he was able to leave them both in place. He did however remove her right tube. He said it was so swollen with infection he consulted with our fertility doctors and they agreed it needed to come out. He was able to remove several "nodules" of endo throughout her pelvic area. The doctor also found several small cuts in her bladder caused by the endo that is certainly causing her additional discomfort.

I think he was shocked to see first hand how rough MK has had it. He even referred to her aggressive case as to the way cancer might "attack" the pelvic area.

We will wait for now to learn about the impact the success from this surgery will have and our fertility. Until then, we place MK's healing and recover in the hands of our Lord.

For those who have expressed and interest in stopping by the hospital, we are still here overnight and MK will be discharged sometime Tuesday. If you would like the room number, it should be available on patient directory or you can email, text, or call either my phone or MK's (I will answer)

Thank you to everyone who has been thinking of us and praying for us.

--Bradley

10/10/11--Let the Surgery Begin

MK was rolled back to surgery around 8:45am. If all goes as planned, she should be out sometime around noon. MK's final request prior to going back was to listen to the Auburn Fight Song on her iPhone. 

--Bradley

10/06/11 Surgery Rescheduled!

Sorry, that it has been awhile since our last post, but it has been a lot of waiting to see what our next step will be. Hopefully we haven't posted too much in one day. We have a lot to be thankful for and a lot of catching up to do!  It has been very emotional because it is like riding a rollercoaster. One minute you are up and the next you are down. 

My surgery has been rescheduled for this coming Monday (Oct. 10^th). We are hopeful that this surgery will improve my quality of life as well as provide us some answers on how to pursue having a family. They will keep me overnight and then release me sometime on Tuesday. After that I am hoping for a speedy recovery.

Until then - Bradley and I are looking forward to a wonderful weekend. Tomorrow, I’m so excited that I get to keep my good friend, Mary Catherine’s, little baby Anna Scott. This will help to take my mind off of my surgery. Then Saturday hopefully we will cheer Auburn to a victory.

-Mary Kathryn

10/06/11--Friends and Motherhood

On a happy note – I am truly blessed to have such wonderful friends in my life and I love every minute of  watching them become mothers. I love watching Anna Scott (Mary Catherine’s little girl) grow, I was so excited this week when I found out that Anna is having a little girl (Lucy Reeves Beam) and I can’t wait to find out what Maggie is having. These girls will never know how much their continued love and support have meant to me.

I read something yesterday that really gave me peace and I wanted to share it –

“We know we’ll have a baby. And we’re going to have the baby we’re supposed to have. Whatever baby we end up having will be the right baby. Our baby. And we know that we’ll hold that child and think, “If our journey had been easy, we wouldn’t have you.”
                                                                                       Baby Proof by Emily Giffin
                                                                                      (May 15, 2007)
                                                                                   

-Mary Kathryn

10/06/11--MK's Experience in the ER

When things are hard we tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive. A week ago, I ran into a full length mirror and severely cut my toe. I had to go to the emergency room at 5:30 in the morning and get 15 stitches. When this first happened I asked God, “Have I not been through enough?” However, on that day, God showed me that I have so much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful husband who came to my rescue and took care of me. He took care of me all weekend. I have wonderful parents who, when I called to tell them I was going to the emergency room, my dad dropped everything and came to the ER to be with us. My mother brought me my favorite “chocolate covered pecans” and a pair of house shoes because I couldn’t wear regular shoes.

I also focus on the negative at work a lot of times, but yesterday when I was in an award ceremony sitting by my dad and I saw him give a thumbs up to one of his employees, who had just received an award, my first thought was “Why can’t I have a supervisor like that?” and then I realized that I might not have a supervisor like that, but I have a dad like that and that is worth so much more.

--Mary Kathryn

I would like to add that MK is all the time bumping into things around the house.  She has plenty of bruises to prove it.  When she started screaming last Friday morning, I thought nothing of it.  But when she started to cry, I sprung into action because I knew it wasn't a simple bruise.  When I turned the lights on in the bedroom, I was horrified at the amount of blood all over the carpet.  This is when all my years of Boy Scouts kicked in (I am proud to say that I am an Eagle Scout!) and I was able to handle the medical emergency very well.  I think I shocked MK at how calm but demanding I was during the ordeal.  I have to give a shamless shout out to my parents for being so heavily involved with Scouts, especially since it isn't the "cool thing" for kids to do today.  As proof on this day, it really pays off. 

I love posting pictures but I think I will refrain of posting one of MK's toe.  I don't want anyone to loose their meal.  Who knew that her little toe had enough room for 15 stitches?  On a football related note, her ER physican at RMC in Anniston was a former team doctor for Alabama during the Bear Bryant days.  All I could say about his professionalism, bedside manner, ability to stitch, and the stories he shared, is RTR.

-Bradley

09/23/11--Surgery Postponed

I wanted to drop a quick note that MK's surgery that was scheduled for Monday has been postponed.  After the doctor who will be performing the surgery conferred with her fertility doctor, it was decided to wait for surgery. 

More to details to come!

-Bradley

Issue with Posting Comments Corrected 09/22/11

I have recently learned that several people has attempted to post comments on our blog with out success.  I just went through the "settings" page and found the ability to post "restricted".  I apologize to everyone for the issue and have not set it to allow anyone to post a comment.  I hope this works.  If not, shoot me or MK an email, text, or call and I will look further into it.  You can choose "anonymous" to avoid setting up an account or registering.

Thanks again for the interest into our journey and the support and love we feel.  We couldn't make it through this difficult journey without our Faith, family, and friends.  God Bless You All.

-Bradley

09/22/11--Surgery in the Future

Sorry it has been a few days since our last post.  MK had to meet with her doctor in order to develop a new game plan since IVF wasn't succesful for us.  As it turns out, the plan is for another laproscopic surgery on Monday.  Yes, this Monday, September 09/26.  We are set to arrive at Brookwood Hospital at around 4:30am.  Why do they insist we arrive so early?  We won't go back until 6, 7, even maybe 8am!!  At any rate, he Pelvic Pain Specialist will be performing a 3 or more hour surgery to attempt to clean out ALL the endometriosis for her entire pelvic area.  He is also planning to remove her left ovary and left tube.  We have suspected for quite some time that her left side is causing a lot of trouble getting pregnant, but mainly, it causes her a great deal of pain.  In fact, the doctor equated her level of pain to that of a cancer patient!  Due to the extensive nature of the surgery, we will have the pleasure of staying at Brookwood Monday night.  This will ensure that MK's pain and discomfort can be properly managed as well as the fact that after this surgery, it will likely be difficult for her to move around.

Thank you to everyone for their continued support, love, and prayers.  As I have with the last surgery and the one before that, I pray that this will be MK's last.  I sincerely pray that this surgery will remove all of her pain and suffering.

-Bradley

Day 10 09/17/11--Our Door Through IVF Has Closed, But We Know God Has Other Doors Open

Today was not a great day for us.  We had gone into the doctor's office at 7:30am with the hope that MK's follicles had grown to the needed size and quantities.  Well, they had grown but not large enough and not enough.  This means we no are no longer candidates for IVF.  This has been pretty devastating to us.  We always knew there was a very real chance that IVF would not be successful, we just never imagine not being able to complete the cycle.

So, what does all this mean?  Well, we actually have numerous options.  For the immediate future, option 1, would be to switch from IVF to IUI.  Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) is basically a procedure of placing sperm into the uterus.  Option 2, is to let nature take it course over the next couple of days.  We have taken all the stimulation medications we can.  Now we can attempt pregnancy with out additional help.  We also have many more options for long term success.  This requires several doctors collaborating to develop the best game plan possible.  We are really too early in the process to discuss the options with great knowledge or understanding.  Just know this, we aren't giving up!!

For whatever reason, IVF is not the method of success for us.  As the door has been closed on IVF, we look forward to turning to God for answers on which door to open next.  When we were in Birmingham Thursday, I was reminded of a scripture in the office of one of MK's doctor's "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you" (Jeremiah 1:5).  This gives me great comfort knowing that God knows our plan and already knows who our child is long before we do.

Thanks for all the prayers so far.  Please do not give up as we have not given up.  We still have a long, emotional road ahead of us and we need all the help we can get.

Again thanks,

Love,
Mary Kathryn and Bradley

Days 7 and 8 09/15/11-09/16/11

Yesterday, I went back to the doctor for more blood work and ultrasound. We didn’t get the news we were hoping for, but we are still staying positive. My blood work was good, but they only saw 2 "mature" follicles and they hoped to have seen at least 4. A follicle is a group of cells that turn into the egg while inside the ovary.When there are few mature follicles the chances of success drop. I got in a little trouble yesterday by my doctor and Bradley because my iron had dropped significantly and the reason was because I have not been taking my iron supplements. I know, I know, but those vitamins make me sick.

We will go back to the doctor in the morning (Saturday) for more blood work and another ultrasound. We need lots of prayers that they see more follicles this time. After the doctor reviews my blood work and ultrasound he will tell us what percentage we have of this round of IVF being successful. There is a chance that, if they don’t see more follicles tomorrow, we won’t qualify to continue. I understand now what people meant when they said that IVF was going to be an emotional rollercoaster. Monday was positive and high and yesterday was negative and low. I just hope that we get better news tomorrow.

On a happier note Bradley’s 32nd birthday is today. Last night we went out to eat with some wonderful friends to celebrate. We had so much fun and the meal was delicious. It was so nice to get together and laugh and take our mind off of IVF for a little while. Bradley loves strawberry cake so I got one of Edgar’s famous strawberry cakes for the birthday boy. This was the BEST strawberry cake I have ever had.

Today, Bradley got a Keurig Coffee maker for his birthday. We have decided to stay home and rest tonight since we have to be in Birmingham at 7:30 in the morning.

That’s just a little update. We hope that they see more follicles in the morning and that we are able to continue to the next step which will be egg retrieval on Monday.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. I am overwhelmed with the amount of love and support that Bradley and I have received.

Day 6 09/13/11

Day 6 was pretty uneventful. . . except, MK got her results from the blood work drawn on Monday.  Good news, it looks like MK's body is responding exactly the way the doctor's had hoped it would.  It is kind of funny though when the nurse says her hormone levels are "normal" because in the world of infertility, "normal" is no where near what "normal" would be for a couple that can conceive naturally.

We have another follow-up visit for more blood work on Thursday.  If everything continues to be "normal", we still anticipate the egg retrieval to be on Monday.

MK and I can feel the prayers we are receiving from everyone.  Thank you for all the support we are getting from comments, emails, and phone calls.  God is guiding us on this amazing journey and we believe that his blessings are upon us!!

-Bradley

Day 5 09/12/11

Today MK had a check up at ART.  She had blood drawn for testing and had that enjoyable ultrasound done.  I wasn't able to attend the appointment with her but I am very glad that her mother was able to go with her.

We don't have results from the blood work yet, but everything else sounded very promissing!  If all goes well, we are looking for the egg retrieval on Monday 09/19/11!!!  Super exciting!!!  Will give more details about the egg retrieval process shortly.

On a seperate note, I would like to thank everyone for visiting our page and sharing in our adventure.  We have had nearly 400 friends, family, and other people we have yet to meet view the site since it began.  Be sure to become a "follower" to get notified about updates.  Please feel free to share this site with others.

--Bradley

Day 4 – 09/11/11

Day 4 – 09/11/11

This is MK –

Today was a wonderful day. Over the past year I have asked the question “Why me God?” As I have pushed through every surgery, ultrasound, shots, and blood drawn it has just not seemed fair. However, this morning as I sat in church and listened to the sermon I realized that God is working through me. He is telling me to go fight this fight and he will take care of the rest.

After church I spoke with two ladies – one who battled infertility herself but had her two beautiful children with her and another lady that went through IVF and she stood there holding her precious baby boy. I thought to myself that this is all going to be worth it. These two ladies were such an inspiration to me and I no longer feel sorry for myself for I realize that in the end I will be thanking God for taking Bradley and I on this journey. Instead of thinking that God is punishing us, I now know that he chose us to go through this. Each day he is teaching us patience, perseverance and love. Some people say that infertility is hard on your marriage, but it has brought Bradley and I closer together and I thank God everyday for my wonderful husband who has stood by my side.

On a funny note – I am very thankful that I have, so far, not had any side effects from the medication. However, yesterday, at the Auburn game I could really feel the hormones rising as I yelled at the referees and Mississippi State team. I have always been very vocal during Auburn football games, but yesterday was on a whole different level.

Vocabulary Lesson #1

I feel like I am well on my way to completing my first year of med school with a focus on gynecology/fertility (no disrespect to Doctors or Med Students). Here a little of what I have learned:

HSG Test--Wicked little test where dye is forced through the fallopian tubes to determine if the tubes are open, clogged, and in the correct orientation to the ovaries. No anesthesia is given.
FSH Level--Measure of the "Follicle Stimulating Hormone". The lower the number the better.
Endometriosis--The meanest, most under diagnosed disease in young women. Oh yeah, technically it is where the cells of the uterus grow on the outside of the uterus.
Follicle--A group of cells that turn into the egg while inside the ovary.
Luteinizing Hormone--A rise in this hormone is called "LH Surge" which is a trigger for ovulation.
Vaginal Ultrasound--A test that makes me glad I am a man. In layman's terms, this is when a technician inserts an instrument similar in shape to a flashlight into a woman's vagina to get a look at the ovaries, tubes, and uterus.

Days 2and 3 09/09/11-09/10/11

Sorry for the delayed posts!!

Day 2 was a good day.  MK learned how to mix and administer the injections to herself.  She gave herself the AM and PM injections.

Day 3 was uneventful.  MK handled everything again as she attended the Miss State vs Auburn game.

WAR EAGLE!!

Day 1 09/08/11

Day 1 09/08/11

6:00am--Time to rise and shine.  MK has to begin getting ready for work and Bradley needs to begin his mixology of medications.  It is a big production to give one injection.  The Gonal-F (powder) needs to be mixed using the syringe of Bacteriostatic Water.  Then the liquified Gonal-F gets 250iu drawn from the vial to be mixed with 75iu Menopur.  Once these are all mixed, it is time for the injection.  Seems easy until you consider the fact that 3 syringes are used and everything, including MK, gets wiped down with an alcohol swab.

6:15am--Bradley injects MK in the upper arm.

7:00pm--This round is easier.  Draw 300iu Gonal-F; inject.  Oh yes, don't for get the alcohol swap but only one syringe this time.  This time we add one oral dose of Dexamethasone.

-Bradley

Pharmaceuticals

This is the contents of the "special delivery" that FedEx had for us.  All these medications and syringes will be used during our IVF cycle.  Might I add that there are more than 30 syringes and various sizes of needles that we will use.  More on needle sizes later.

I will say that I can not believe that the medical profession will let some one like me mix medications!!  What if I am wrong in my measurements?  Did I mention that I get to stick my wife with all these???  All I can say is she better be nice to me or her body might become more like a dart board to me :)!!  But really, I am qualified to mix, measure and administer doses via subcutaneously and intramuscular??  So twice daily I get to "stick" MK!!  I am most nervous about air bubbles! 

I should have gone to med school!

-Bradley

The Back Story

Greetings Friends, Let me "briefly" fill you in on our "Back Story". Mary Kathryn and I were married on March 14, 2009 in Heflin, AL. Since then, we have began building a very nice and comfortable life together. Around May 2010, Mary Kathryn began experiencing great pain in her pelvic area. The pain soared off the charts during the beginning of her "cycle". It took a trip to her urologist with what was thought to be kidney stones for her to be diagnosed with endometriosis. Trust me, the pain and discomfort from this disease is as bad as trying to pronounce it. Her regular gynecologist scheduled a laproscopic surgery (microscopic surgery with 3 or 4 small incisions) towards the end of May. When he began the surgery, he was hoping to just "explore" to see the extent of the disease and hopefully clean up what he could. What he found changed our lives forever. The disease was so widespread and so aggressive that he immediately scheduled a laprotomy (wide-open abdominal surgery with approximately 8in incision) in just a few weeks. After the doctor did his best to scrap and clean out all effected areas and a l-o-n-g recovery period for MK, it was suggested that we seek help from fertility specialist or put MK on Lupron (places a 25 year old in a state of menopause) for 6-12 months! Obviously we chose to seek the help of a fertility specialist and settled on the services of ART Fertility Specialist of Alabama. After another laproscopic surgery in December 2010, we thought we were finally going to begin In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Wrong!!  Test, after test, and even more tests, it was determined MK's "levels" were not at optimal points to have a successful attempt at IVF.  So back in for laproscopic surgery again in July.  Finally in August, we had a serious discussion about IVF!!  First week of September, we were cleared to begin our 1st cycle of IVF!!!!!

-Bradley